Pressure

This is my journey from trans rights advocate to gender critical gay rights activist and my experience with the culture of pressure surrounding homosexuals to identify as trans

Pressure

“You don’t need dysphoria to be trans”

“If you think you’re trans, you probably are”

“Trans means you don’t identify with your assigned gender”

Pressure.

Pressure to identify as transgender is what is created by these commonly shared trans sentiments. And they’re just a sample of the many similar ideals that are perpetuated by inclusionist and mainstream gender ideology.

The reality is that you absolutely must have gender dysphoria to be trans identified. There are many people that are not trans identified and wonder if they are. And lots of homosexuals do not identify with their “assigned gender” and even have gender dysphoria themselves — all without being trans identified.

This misinformation, combined with different forms of pressure we’ll discuss here, and the communities built around spreading it, are resulting in young homosexuals being influenced into identifying as trans — only for them to detransition shortly after.

This disinformation pipeline sees gender nonconforming (also known as GNC) behaviors be deeply conflated with trans experiences, resulting in GNC homosexuals being unable to understand or accept their homosexuality — and left feeling like trans is the only solution. You can see this demonstrated in this study here.

This study shows how some gay people live at odds within a heteronormative world and society, burdened with gender dysphoria. But having gender dysphoria doesn’t automatically make one trans. Often, this dysphoria can be alleviated with therapy. Sometimes it may never go away. Still, it’s been shown that transitioning, medically or socially, is not always the answer, either.

Of course, sometimes it is, which is fantastic! But the amount of people that come to regret it is alarming and something that must be discussed on a larger scale. Studies show that most trans children grow up to be gay, leaving their trans identity behind.

And the pressure doesn’t stop there.

Extremism and Homophobia Within the Community

Some of the more extreme parts of the community will advocate for things like “you must take hormones to be trans enough”, encouraging medical transition even without doctors help, often by purchasing black market hormones. Communities like r/egg_irl and r/transmaxxing on Reddit show that there are indeed entire factions of trans identified people that work to mislead others to identifying as trans. People dismiss these type of communities as a minority or negligible because they’re online…but I’ve seen how it’s effected people I know. I’ve been effected by them myself.

Spend enough time entangled in gender ideology and before long, another form of pressure will show itself.

You’ll soon come crashing head first into the “anti-cis gay” meme that can be found both just beneath and glaringly atop the surface of popular trans culture. This culture views “cis” gays, or gay men and lesbian women that don’t identify as trans, as more privileged than trans identified people. They believe their trans identity justifies their homophobic rhetoric spread online and in physical spaces. They reframe our fight for basic rights and autonomy as what is now a point of privilege that we hold over them.

Homophobic anti-cis gay culture being perpetuated by a segment of the trans community is absolutely another form of pressure put on teenage homosexuals to identify as trans.

Using Trans Identities as Social Shields Against Homophobia and Sexual Pressure Put on Homosexuals

It’s often as easy as tacking on a simple label like “non-binary” and switching pronouns. This creates a sort of social shield, because now you’re “not like the other gays”. But this shield isn’t entirely shatter proof, as without the medical transition “credential”, so to speak, even non-binary identified gay people can get brushed in the same brush stroke as the “cis” gays.

But why do they treat gay people this way, you’re likely asking? Well, I’ll tell you:

Rejection of the pressure we’ve been discussing so adamantly. Specifically, the pressure held within The Cotton Ceiling, and The Boxer Ceiling.

Conceptual ceilings based off the original “glass ceiling”, they were created to describe the pressure put on gay people to include trans identified people in their sexualities. And contained within these ceilings is a festering monstrosity of homophobia, mostly targeting lesbians within The Cotton Ceiling, but also prevalent in attacking gay men within The Boxer Ceiling. Lesbians are harassed with death threats for refusing to partake in “ladydiq”. Gay men and lesbians alike are harassed on dating apps for not sleeping with trans identified people. And most unfortunately, the response to the denial of access to our spaces within these ceilings brings about a new form of pressure:

Modern Day Conversion Therapy, Woke-Style

Genital preferences.

You can find it on Twitter. You can find it in local LGBT workshops. Spread on memes and discussion spaces on Facebook. You can even find instructional videos on TikTok.

Using the same strategy as right wing religious zealots, some have taken to blatant conversion therapy in order to convince homosexuals to sleep with them. They make step by step TikTok videos explaining how to “deconstruct genital preferences”, echoing the extremist religious community by saying things like “just because you’re not attracted to something doesn’t mean it can’t be unlearned”.

“Genital preferences are transphobic” they say, and “genitals don’t have a gender”, “lesbians who center disgust of penis in their lesbianism are problematic”, “gay men who act grossed out by vagina are transphobic”, etc. The list really does go on.

And the whole time, due to our societies adoption of gender ideology, they get to pretend they’re enlightened for doing these things. After all, according to them, it’s gay people who are bigoted for being homosexual. It’s gay people that don’t understand how biological sex works, reduces others to their genitals or chromosomes, and are evil for being exclusionary of the opposite sex in their sexual orientation. For some trans identified people, the only way to respect their gender identity enough, is to deny biological sex and fuck them.

Because respecting pronouns isn’t enough anymore. And plenty of trans identified people agree these are issues coming from within their own community. It’s made obvious, as gender ideology becomes enshrined in law working to entirely redefine and erase biological sex, and therefore homosexuality, as well as dismantle single sex spaces…all in the name of supposedly advancing trans rights.

The Loss of Single Sex Spaces and the Redefining of Homosexuality

We can see the consequences of the loss of single sex spaces in the way trans identified people are now exposing themselves to children at spas and being given hero status, the way women’s only shelters are defunded and vandalized, the way gay male sex positive spaces are harassed, and by the way gay men and lesbians are kicked off of dating apps and attacked with death threats and insults for daring reject trans identified people pursuing them for dating and sex.

We see it in the way women can no longer even be referred to as women, and instead must be referred to as “vulva owners”, so as to be inclusive. Funny how their form of inclusion ends up excluding so many others.

What was once a proud community of LGB people and even HSTS (homosexual transsexuals) has now been distorted by “queer” culture, which allows in any person in need of validation and with a willingness to turn a quirky personality trait into an identity — whether they experience same sex attraction or identify as trans or not.

Inclusivity now reigns supreme — even at the cost of the most vulnerable people in our community. Because somehow, while every new letter in the acronym is welcomed with open arms, it has left L, G, and B people to be now seen as the most privileged and undeserving of priority and platform.

Adding yet more pressure to be absolutely anything other than exclusively same sex attracted or cisgender.

My journey

All these different forms of pressure and more is what made me feel like identifying as trans was the answer for myself.

I didn’t get a chance to do my sexuality and gender journey as a teen. I’m certain I’ve always known I was gay. I know I’ve experienced gender dysphoria since before I was 10. I grew up in 2 different homophobic households — my mother and my step-fathers home, and my father and step-mothers home.

At my mothers, when I was 10 years old or so, I wanted to dress like a girl. A boy at my school had done it for a Halloween costume as a joke, and I thought that would be the perfect cover to give it a try. My mother knew what was really happening, though. I could tell by the way she looked at me. She abided with horrible intentions. She took me to a Halloween party and shamed me in front my peers, calling me names like “girly boy”, degrading me…it was clearly a method to make me not want to wear dresses anymore. It worked.

In my fathers house I wasn’t allowed to even read Harry Potter because my step-mother was deeply religious and while my father wasn’t at first, he soon adopted it, too. I was taken to weekend conversion therapy sessions at the local church, hosted in their basement where I was forced to read bible verses and taught that even if I loved men, I had to love women, too, so that I could get married, have children, and be forgiven by God for my same sex attraction. I was told to separate romantic and sexual attraction to achieve this.

I tried dating women but it never worked. I repressed my sexuality mostly, not able to understand the few gay relationships I managed to have. It was mostly sex because I couldn’t bring myself to have romantic feelings for men at first.

Thankfully I eventually did figure out my sexuality. It took a lot of internal work and personal acceptance but after a while, I had successful same sex relationships. I even met my husband and we’ve now been together for 7 wonderful years.

Addressing My Own Gender

Yet, I never got the opportunity to address my gender nonconforming habits and gender dysphoria I experienced. I was forced to crash course it all within the last few years. And the flurry of misinformation, communities built to lead others to be trans, the ever-changing definitions and labels, and everyone else’s own confusion about how it all worked contributed to me feeling tricked, pressured, and misinformed, into identifying as trans.

I spent 3 years as non-binary, after being told in multiple spaces that the fact that I liked to wear dresses, but didn’t identify as a woman, meant I was obviously neither gender or sex. I didn’t realize at the time how these people were conflating sex and gender. I didn’t understand about the existence of concepts like gender nonconforming. I, like so many other homosexuals, didn’t have the tools to figure that out. We had only the internet, and the communities built on pressure and misinformation to (mis)guide us that reside there.

I even felt forced to stop being gay and to be bisexual. If I didn’t, I would be one of those “bigoted cis gays with a genital preferences”. Shamed for being gay. Insulted for my biologically programmed sexual orientation. I saw it happening in front of my eyes every day across almost all trans focused communities. I had to escape that. Even if it meant abandoning my homosexuality.

I’ve seen others describe it as a social contagion when discussing things like rapid onset gender dysphoria. I think after my experience, I very much agree with that idea.

Realizations

One day it all changed. I watched as a group of trans men called gay men who didn’t like vagina “disgusting”, and something inside my mind just…clicked. Those years I spent as trans and bisexual were like a teetering Jenga tower and every time I saw something phobic or bigoted, I could ignore it; but only until the final Jenga block was pulled and it all came crashing down.

I knew it was homophobia. I knew if these trans identified females would shame gay men for such a thing, then they obviously had no idea what it was like to actually be a gay man. Even in their efforts to make it out as a body shaming issue, a misogyny and transphobia issue…I knew what it really was. It was their anger at being rejected by gay men. They could deny it all they wanted: their behavior and attitude made it clear. It screamed “incel!”. I saw how lesbians were treated similarly and actually worse for rejecting “ladydiq”, forced on them by incels turned trans.

I had experienced the boxer ceiling and the cotton ceiling before even learning their names. And by not being able to openly discuss our sexual orientation without being shamed or accused of transphobia or otherwise bigotry, we were effectively back in the closet.

I looked around and realized I wasn’t surrounded by any actual same sex couples or same sex attracted people. It was mostly heterosexual people that identified as trans, which somehow magically made them gay. I suddenly understood everything the lesbians and radfems had been trying to tell me. I had bought into the lie. I had let myself be tricked.

It’s like I was standing at the edge of a bottomless canyon, looking down into the abyss, holding my breath and just one step away from falling. I had changed pronouns. I felt pressure to dress even more feminine than I normally wished to, to prove how trans I was. I even came dangerously close to considering hormones because of how often I was insulted over my beard and masculine features. But I let the oxygen escape my lungs and I took a step back. And almost at once, all the problematic elements to gender ideology came rushing into clarity.

Reclaiming Myself

It took me a while to figure out who I was all over again. I had engaged in a relationship with a woman who identified as nonbinary for 6 months that I suddenly realized I never wanted to begin with. I had abandoned my manhood and homosexuality in the name of wokeness and inclusivity. I started to recognize all the homophobic and bigoted things that were hidden behind a thin veil of enlightenment. I knew these were my choices but the pressure, misinformation, and influence was as real as you or I.

The dark underbelly of gender ideology was exposed in all its horrible detail.

All the pain from lesbians, gay men, women and children I had been ignoring came into full view. I couldn’t continue to ignore the lesbians being harassed, the gay men being pressured, the women being silenced, or the gay kids that were being transed.

Seeing the Harmful Effect of Gender Ideology Clearly

When I tell people “they’re transing gay kids!” they immediately assume I’m either a lunatic or talking about Iran, where homosexuals can either be forcefully transitioned or face death for their homosexuality. But…no, this is happening on a different scale here in the USA and elsewhere, too.

LGBT centers such as the Tavistock Clinic, in London, have abruptly shifted how they treat children seeking help. They’re too quick to affirm children with gender dysphoria, instead of helping them work through it and determine the root cause (which is most often homosexuality). Parents have complained of their children also being fast tracked to transitioning. These reports and the Tavistocks refusal to acknowledge the issue resulted in the governor of Tavistock stepping down in protest.

By being too quick with affirmation methods, these kids aren’t getting the proper chance to figure out their dysphoria. In their rush to be pro-trans, they’ve circled back around to anti-gay. This, combined with all the social and internet pressure to be trans, is causing the numbers in children and people that identify as trans to skyrocket. Yes, they really are transing gay kids.

I discovered things that at first sounded like alt right conspiracy theories, only to later find they were entirely true: such as the fact an overwhelming amount of trans women “realize” they’re trans after getting themselves addicted to literal hypnosis sissy porn. It’s porn in which, in addition to trans women being degraded in a sexual manner, the video also flashes hypnotic images that are meant to influence males into taking hormones, transitioning into trans women, in order to “sissify” themselves. Entire websites and online communities exist devoted to hypnosis sissy porn, and to encourage one another to “go all the way” with hormones. It’s a game of fetish chicken to them. Just look at this thread titled “I was addicted to hypno sissy porn and now I’m trans AMA”.

Their desire to be a woman was based entirely on a fetish. This was described by Dr Ray Blanchard as autogynephilia. Others have tried to debunk autogynephilia (also known as AGP) yet many trans women are happy to admit that they are AGP.

And the inverse for females exists as well, in which women fetishize being treated as gay men and fetishize gay sex — known as autoandrophilia (or AAP). They even have their own porn they get addicted to, which makes them “realize” they’re trans; an anime style porn called “yaoi”.

And while certainly not all trans identified people are fetishizers, it’s clear that some are, which is what makes self ID laws so dangerous. And we simply must be discussing the trend of trans identified people being influenced by porn.

The Fight Continues

This fight is far from over. We have a long way to go. I’ve been speaking out on these issues on TikTok, where I gained a moderate following (before losing my account to the thought police and mass reporting by trans rights advocates). And the outpouring of support from homosexuals and even trans identified people that I’ve received makes it clear to me that I’m doing the right thing.

They share their experiences and I’m given the opportunity to amplify their stories and their voices. I’ve had homosexuals tell me I helped them realize they weren’t trans, and were now happy to be gay and GNC. I’ve had parents thank me for helping them figure out how to speak to their kids about this. I’ve had women share their experiences with harassment from trans identified people and thank me for defending lesbians. So many homosexuals have shared with me their experience with the trans pipeline and the culture of pressure that pushed them into it.

I was given the chance to tell my story. I have an obligation to help tell theirs.

Advocating to Preserve Biological Sex and Protect the Rights of Homosexuals

Which is why organizations like LGB Alliance USA, which advocates specifically for the rights of same sex attracted people, are so important. Since biological sex is being erased and homosexuals are expected to include the opposite sex in their orientation, we need groups to fight to keep the definition of sex and sexual orientation intact. People see LGBA as a hate group but the fact is, LGBA advocates for the human rights of all people and simply wishes to have a societal discussion about gender ideology. That isn’t bigotry. That isn’t hate.

I’m proud to be a contributing member of LGBAUSA. This is the next chapter in the fight for gay rights and LGBA is the next Gay Liberation Front. These discussions matter deeply, and so do the people effected.

Others see these views as an attack on trans identified people, however, that is a wild misrepresentation of our concern for young homosexuals and gender nonconforming individuals having troubled experiences with gender ideology. We should all respect and support trans identified people, and remember that there are trans identified people that understand homosexuality, biological sex and the need for single sex spaces.

I hope to build bridges so that the people that don’t agree with these things know that a middle ground can be found, if we work together.